as women
we should
cook
clean
mind our offspring
make sure you release often
in some cases bring home the bacon
pick up the tab
stroke your ego
launder your laundry
scrub your dishes
put up with your excess bitches...
i sit and think
men want us to be supernatural
at which point
we realize
and render you useless
other than for the item that lies between your legs
because the muscle that rests between your shoulders
provide obstacles that prove to hold women in modern day slavery
to your rules
your tests
your waivers of fidelity and infidelity, and all acts in between
we stand, or should stand by you
because you are incapable of error
incapable of forgiveness
and lack the ambition to engage in the dual perspective
you are God on earth...
No.
i am
not an
angry black woman
but i have observed too many standards being held way above our heads
and boys; self-proclaimed men
dangle these ideals
in the air
when, the last time i fact checked
many of you
don't have
anything to offer me in return for my lengthy duties and services
you
should
wait
on me
hand and foot
wait for me to come home at 4am
because i,
unlike you
posses ambition that you can build a fortress with
i come to your table baring gifts
sadly,
the only items on your table are the
gifts that i have brought to you...
Friday, December 31, 2010
will you be there just in the nick of time to catch my tears before they hit the pavement?
Ironically you are the culprit,
you confess to me as if i am the pulpit
i hate you
i leave you
i love you
try to run you over with your vehicle
but we
are to be wed around this time next year
love is temporary to permanent insanity
a trip in which
i've never been before
i suppose..
Ironically you are the culprit,
you confess to me as if i am the pulpit
i hate you
i leave you
i love you
try to run you over with your vehicle
but we
are to be wed around this time next year
love is temporary to permanent insanity
a trip in which
i've never been before
i suppose..
A Poem for Love
I slept with "love" on the first night
Before i knew his last name
Before i knew his last run
Or how he played his last game
Gazing into his eyes in the Miami heat
I'd be childish if said Ciroc and Patron were to blame
Something about him was unique, dancing with his pace,
swaying to his beat
Friendly, was a game of pool
First kisses
Not April but i was drunk;
A fool
Shot glasses paraded my memory
Thoughts of: when we woke up if he'd remember me?
Waking up to a semi stranger
False alarm ; no danger
His face, when a partial sober mind began to roll over
He was a friend of a friend
Who aided my inebriated shoulder
When those toxins hit my system like a boulder
And we flash forward to present day
Love re-entered my world in a monumental way
No regrets
Of spending the night with Love on my first day
On a weekend that proved to be memorial
I'll always remember the first day i saw you
Ironically,
It feels
As if
Every night i spend with you, my love
Is our first
We have taken one another for better or for worst
I revert back to predestined evenings
Catalina kisses
And Continental sleep overs
Where I
Slept with Love
On the first night
Which leads me to believe that I had 20/20 vision back then,
For a future sight
That I'd spend countless days, awaiting to sleep with Love continuously every night..
Before i knew his last name
Before i knew his last run
Or how he played his last game
Gazing into his eyes in the Miami heat
I'd be childish if said Ciroc and Patron were to blame
Something about him was unique, dancing with his pace,
swaying to his beat
Friendly, was a game of pool
First kisses
Not April but i was drunk;
A fool
Shot glasses paraded my memory
Thoughts of: when we woke up if he'd remember me?
Waking up to a semi stranger
False alarm ; no danger
His face, when a partial sober mind began to roll over
He was a friend of a friend
Who aided my inebriated shoulder
When those toxins hit my system like a boulder
And we flash forward to present day
Love re-entered my world in a monumental way
No regrets
Of spending the night with Love on my first day
On a weekend that proved to be memorial
I'll always remember the first day i saw you
Ironically,
It feels
As if
Every night i spend with you, my love
Is our first
We have taken one another for better or for worst
I revert back to predestined evenings
Catalina kisses
And Continental sleep overs
Where I
Slept with Love
On the first night
Which leads me to believe that I had 20/20 vision back then,
For a future sight
That I'd spend countless days, awaiting to sleep with Love continuously every night..
A Straw Can Break a Camel's Back
You complained about not being kept abreast,
and I'm confused because in all my endeavors it was like an email to many,
i copied you...
So all of this pretending you didn't know
investigator shit like Nancy Drew
One of the many reasons why i need something new
You mistaken me for a fancy broad with a fancy crew
Obviously you didn't know me and i don't know you
Simple phone calls and forget me nots,
honey they go a long way, they say a lot
Often you were mute
Often you'd flirt with many
I lacked the energy to refute
i opted out
i sent you that email
i needed to breathe
Needed to find a man worthy to give,
worthy to receive
Short sleeves
Incapable of storing any tricks
i used to love you
It once was easier than Sunday morning
All of your excuses
shenanigans
Got old
I'm yawning
i fell much deeper than this before
Nothing is more clearer than the exit
The door
I've learned to catch my heart before it shatters, hits the floor
So i copied you that day
A little note to say
It was once better
But i don't thrive well under bad weather
Hot fronts and cold shoulders
i wasn't disastrous,
i asked love why couldn't you master us?
Make us happy
White houses and picket fences
Holding hands and park benches
But we were in a war
On opposite trenches
i needed you like most need coffee in the morning
i was more of a multiple choice option to you
Give me the "D"
Opportunities to share time were more like
Inny Minnie Miney Moe
Never caught that Tiger by the toes
But i
Finally caught that drift
Finally switched my shift
So we would never randomly meet,
downtown on some random street
So i copied you
Modern day
Dear John letter
I wouldn't be home when you knocked, even when the lights were on
The red organ in my chest
Could no longer be your shelter
Because i believe in the L word and reciprocation
And your definition of it seems to coincide with defecation
and I'm confused because in all my endeavors it was like an email to many,
i copied you...
So all of this pretending you didn't know
investigator shit like Nancy Drew
One of the many reasons why i need something new
You mistaken me for a fancy broad with a fancy crew
Obviously you didn't know me and i don't know you
Simple phone calls and forget me nots,
honey they go a long way, they say a lot
Often you were mute
Often you'd flirt with many
I lacked the energy to refute
i opted out
i sent you that email
i needed to breathe
Needed to find a man worthy to give,
worthy to receive
Short sleeves
Incapable of storing any tricks
i used to love you
It once was easier than Sunday morning
All of your excuses
shenanigans
Got old
I'm yawning
i fell much deeper than this before
Nothing is more clearer than the exit
The door
I've learned to catch my heart before it shatters, hits the floor
So i copied you that day
A little note to say
It was once better
But i don't thrive well under bad weather
Hot fronts and cold shoulders
i wasn't disastrous,
i asked love why couldn't you master us?
Make us happy
White houses and picket fences
Holding hands and park benches
But we were in a war
On opposite trenches
i needed you like most need coffee in the morning
i was more of a multiple choice option to you
Give me the "D"
Opportunities to share time were more like
Inny Minnie Miney Moe
Never caught that Tiger by the toes
But i
Finally caught that drift
Finally switched my shift
So we would never randomly meet,
downtown on some random street
So i copied you
Modern day
Dear John letter
I wouldn't be home when you knocked, even when the lights were on
The red organ in my chest
Could no longer be your shelter
Because i believe in the L word and reciprocation
And your definition of it seems to coincide with defecation
Useless
His feelings i tried to borrow,
in hopes that my plan would last longer than tomorrow
but what's done in the dark will be revealed
and that cut will soon have healed..
And all of that love i passed off,
you thought was real
But i dont tend to ask
I usually steal
i borrowed your heart with intentions to replace it
And all the heartache i thought time would erase it
But i put it somewhere on a shelf
And have now misplaced it
Remorseful
You can have mine i assure you
i don't need it
Because men treat me like a book with a beautiful cover, compelling
But they
Don't read it...
in hopes that my plan would last longer than tomorrow
but what's done in the dark will be revealed
and that cut will soon have healed..
And all of that love i passed off,
you thought was real
But i dont tend to ask
I usually steal
i borrowed your heart with intentions to replace it
And all the heartache i thought time would erase it
But i put it somewhere on a shelf
And have now misplaced it
Remorseful
You can have mine i assure you
i don't need it
Because men treat me like a book with a beautiful cover, compelling
But they
Don't read it...
Friday, October 29, 2010
Make do
Poetry is my addiction
Learning to write without a muse because there's not enough antidote in the world to heal my previous afflictions
My priors, my convictions.
I find my calm in the kitchen where chicken provides no resistance.
Unlike men when you accidentally let that L word escape from your lips,
Then your waring, unlike lovers but more like bloods and crips.
They'd like to say you were falling but I'd say I tripped because love can't be genuine with all your little tricks
Like promises of forever mores.
And the thoughts of a weird but great combination like smores.
But putting forth my effort with you is something i hate to do,
Chores
And all your excitement
Bores
Is this what i have to encounter to be yours?
Overrated
Lust finally faded
And i see that we are interested in one another
But don't take interests in one anothers interest
What kind of love
Could you have for me?
If our passions are separately owned with no
Apostrophe
Leave now
Avoid catastrophe
And the consolation that your
Selfish ways
Never mastered me
Learning to write without a muse because there's not enough antidote in the world to heal my previous afflictions
My priors, my convictions.
I find my calm in the kitchen where chicken provides no resistance.
Unlike men when you accidentally let that L word escape from your lips,
Then your waring, unlike lovers but more like bloods and crips.
They'd like to say you were falling but I'd say I tripped because love can't be genuine with all your little tricks
Like promises of forever mores.
And the thoughts of a weird but great combination like smores.
But putting forth my effort with you is something i hate to do,
Chores
And all your excitement
Bores
Is this what i have to encounter to be yours?
Overrated
Lust finally faded
And i see that we are interested in one another
But don't take interests in one anothers interest
What kind of love
Could you have for me?
If our passions are separately owned with no
Apostrophe
Leave now
Avoid catastrophe
And the consolation that your
Selfish ways
Never mastered me
Long Term Potentiation
Standing outside
In front of my grandmothers gate
Snow day
Suited in armor
A down jacket, purple gloves
A tam with a bow
Face fully equipped with an excessive amount of Vaseline
I stood there
Head to the sky
Marveling over the delicate flakes
That stuck to my eyelashes
Licked my tongue out to taste one
But it melted too fast for me to even notice…
Reminds me in retrospect
Of all the intriguing things gone too soon
Like my first crush, who often
Pulled that one twist that mommy always seemed to let hang over my left eye
Love notes, words written that took up the entire space of standard-ruled paper
Whenever there was juice in the cafeteria, he’d save me one
Snack time, in exchange for my baby toothed smile
He’d give me fruit by the foot, which would often warrant a cheek kiss.
Til Miss Taylor sent a note home.
Life has always been on fast forward, and like that snowflake, at twenty-four I can’t remember what that juice tasted like.
Ironic how men still “woo” me with drinks
Sparkly and carbonated in pretty flute glasses
Kind of like the ones daddy used to give mommy and she’d look at him with the glimmer in her eyes. That look I always envied because she was far too beautiful to be real…
But much like that snowflake and that juice, all those random glasses of champagne
I couldn’t squint my hardest to tell you how those once tasted.
Life is always in warp speed, where I can’t remember memories, and things people said who were once dear to me.
I do know that some epic loves are filled with more tears and frowns than smiles and kisses.
I see him in rearview, that moment seems so close, but that man is so far away.
I was quite the charmer
The expert to come along and disarm an untrusting man’s armor
I’ve stolen hearts without permission
And often return them in irreparable condition
So I sit here on grandma’s step
Like old times, head to the sky
Wishing…
That a snowflake would fall,
That I could taste and remember…
And it’s far from December
What I’m trying to say is, there never were memories lasting, I often went without love like I was fasting
Potential loves that come and go
Unique snowflakes
I just hope one would fall that I could hold
And never
Let go
In front of my grandmothers gate
Snow day
Suited in armor
A down jacket, purple gloves
A tam with a bow
Face fully equipped with an excessive amount of Vaseline
I stood there
Head to the sky
Marveling over the delicate flakes
That stuck to my eyelashes
Licked my tongue out to taste one
But it melted too fast for me to even notice…
Reminds me in retrospect
Of all the intriguing things gone too soon
Like my first crush, who often
Pulled that one twist that mommy always seemed to let hang over my left eye
Love notes, words written that took up the entire space of standard-ruled paper
Whenever there was juice in the cafeteria, he’d save me one
Snack time, in exchange for my baby toothed smile
He’d give me fruit by the foot, which would often warrant a cheek kiss.
Til Miss Taylor sent a note home.
Life has always been on fast forward, and like that snowflake, at twenty-four I can’t remember what that juice tasted like.
Ironic how men still “woo” me with drinks
Sparkly and carbonated in pretty flute glasses
Kind of like the ones daddy used to give mommy and she’d look at him with the glimmer in her eyes. That look I always envied because she was far too beautiful to be real…
But much like that snowflake and that juice, all those random glasses of champagne
I couldn’t squint my hardest to tell you how those once tasted.
Life is always in warp speed, where I can’t remember memories, and things people said who were once dear to me.
I do know that some epic loves are filled with more tears and frowns than smiles and kisses.
I see him in rearview, that moment seems so close, but that man is so far away.
I was quite the charmer
The expert to come along and disarm an untrusting man’s armor
I’ve stolen hearts without permission
And often return them in irreparable condition
So I sit here on grandma’s step
Like old times, head to the sky
Wishing…
That a snowflake would fall,
That I could taste and remember…
And it’s far from December
What I’m trying to say is, there never were memories lasting, I often went without love like I was fasting
Potential loves that come and go
Unique snowflakes
I just hope one would fall that I could hold
And never
Let go
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Lighthouse
Shipwrecked
From warm summers
Cold shoulders
Rejects
Tepid pecks
A heart broken beyond repair
No kind spirits
No one to care
Like my titanic was just wounded
Trying to stay afloat without a life jacket
Tennis match and no racket
Vulnerable
Without a whistle to blow
I could be submerged in this ocean tomb
And no one would ever know
They say never let a good thing go
But I think I let a good thing grow
Because I think its better that way
More pain when you stay
And we were completely lost
But now I have courage and wisdom
Like there's a lighthouse
Guiding my way
All hope isn't lost
Drowning in the deep blue
But I met fish out there
I made a wish out there
To never be hurt
To never stoop lower than dirt
For chauvinists who discriminate against a skirt
But those fish
They knew my self worth
And through the darkness
And calamity
They swam with me
To the bright lights
Illuminated my insight
To land ho!
Rid my heart of woe
Freed my conscious of blue
Emptied the thoughts of me and you
From warm summers
Cold shoulders
Rejects
Tepid pecks
A heart broken beyond repair
No kind spirits
No one to care
Like my titanic was just wounded
Trying to stay afloat without a life jacket
Tennis match and no racket
Vulnerable
Without a whistle to blow
I could be submerged in this ocean tomb
And no one would ever know
They say never let a good thing go
But I think I let a good thing grow
Because I think its better that way
More pain when you stay
And we were completely lost
But now I have courage and wisdom
Like there's a lighthouse
Guiding my way
All hope isn't lost
Drowning in the deep blue
But I met fish out there
I made a wish out there
To never be hurt
To never stoop lower than dirt
For chauvinists who discriminate against a skirt
But those fish
They knew my self worth
And through the darkness
And calamity
They swam with me
To the bright lights
Illuminated my insight
To land ho!
Rid my heart of woe
Freed my conscious of blue
Emptied the thoughts of me and you
Time Out
How does it feel when your codefendant rips your heart out and puts it in the blender?
Woo me then slay me
I thought we were on the same side behind enemy lines
Who would of known he'd betray me
Lying through common terms of endearment
Parading around the word baby
He's the type who would try to kill me
Just to try and save me
Do sneaky unforgivable things and claim he was behaving
But it was round three in the struggle and someones gotta win
And someones gonna try and save face and pretend
That we are better off as you just being a friend
Because this love battle has the propensity to accelerate to round ten
Woo me then slay me
I thought we were on the same side behind enemy lines
Who would of known he'd betray me
Lying through common terms of endearment
Parading around the word baby
He's the type who would try to kill me
Just to try and save me
Do sneaky unforgivable things and claim he was behaving
But it was round three in the struggle and someones gotta win
And someones gonna try and save face and pretend
That we are better off as you just being a friend
Because this love battle has the propensity to accelerate to round ten
Two Face
You travel miles
Staggered walk
Slurred speech
Soaked shirt
Knock on love's door
Impatiently
Waiting for an answer
As to why
Hate penetrated your heart
Your favorite shirt, that love had purchased
Now, blood stained
By the fatal wounds hate infiltrated
You tapped on love's window pane
Because in church the pastor preached
that love supersedes hate
So you wait
For protection
For a solution
Free your mind from the dust and soot of hate's pollution
Maybe love can talk to that man in the black cloak
Who ravished your heart
Bleeding out
You hear the soft footsteps of love easing to the door to satisfy your query
Because we all know that love would be accepting
And free of judgment
He opens the door
Gazes into your eyes
And just in that moment
Your brow raised north,eyes blinked twenty times
When you realize
That it was actually
Love
Who caused you all of this pain...
Staggered walk
Slurred speech
Soaked shirt
Knock on love's door
Impatiently
Waiting for an answer
As to why
Hate penetrated your heart
Your favorite shirt, that love had purchased
Now, blood stained
By the fatal wounds hate infiltrated
You tapped on love's window pane
Because in church the pastor preached
that love supersedes hate
So you wait
For protection
For a solution
Free your mind from the dust and soot of hate's pollution
Maybe love can talk to that man in the black cloak
Who ravished your heart
Bleeding out
You hear the soft footsteps of love easing to the door to satisfy your query
Because we all know that love would be accepting
And free of judgment
He opens the door
Gazes into your eyes
And just in that moment
Your brow raised north,eyes blinked twenty times
When you realize
That it was actually
Love
Who caused you all of this pain...
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Beyond Repair
It began
As quickly as it ended
I beg you
Please pick
My heart up
Off the ground
Amidst the broken glass
And illegal drug paraphernalia
She said
Take my mind for now
Trial period.
Fatal error
To assume that your mind was
As advanced as mine
To journey in this era
Where all you can think of are Nike’s
And a new era
Where I lend you my hand to kiss
And instead I’m given
The fleshy part of your lower back
that fill out those cargo shorts so well
She whispered
I want my mind back
Because all day
During work
All I could type was your name
And all throughout school
The collages of pictures and videos all managed to relate to you some how
He said give me your lips
although hesitant and unsure she obliged
Sealed with every kiss of death,
seemed to take a day or two off of her broken heart
Which she promised she wouldn’t give a way
In the start
But when women say they’ll love with mental and carnal aspects only
It always fails
Because he has your heart
The day a man walks by and you think that would smell better on
What’s his face
If only he’d love you like you loved him
Urge you
Love me back
And some day he will
But that day seems too long to wait for
But he’ll find you
By the blood stained path
Of all the tears your heart cried
And stab wounds that no other man will ever
Be able to heal…
As quickly as it ended
I beg you
Please pick
My heart up
Off the ground
Amidst the broken glass
And illegal drug paraphernalia
She said
Take my mind for now
Trial period.
Fatal error
To assume that your mind was
As advanced as mine
To journey in this era
Where all you can think of are Nike’s
And a new era
Where I lend you my hand to kiss
And instead I’m given
The fleshy part of your lower back
that fill out those cargo shorts so well
She whispered
I want my mind back
Because all day
During work
All I could type was your name
And all throughout school
The collages of pictures and videos all managed to relate to you some how
He said give me your lips
although hesitant and unsure she obliged
Sealed with every kiss of death,
seemed to take a day or two off of her broken heart
Which she promised she wouldn’t give a way
In the start
But when women say they’ll love with mental and carnal aspects only
It always fails
Because he has your heart
The day a man walks by and you think that would smell better on
What’s his face
If only he’d love you like you loved him
Urge you
Love me back
And some day he will
But that day seems too long to wait for
But he’ll find you
By the blood stained path
Of all the tears your heart cried
And stab wounds that no other man will ever
Be able to heal…
Thursday, August 19, 2010
So-So Endings
I don't believe that there's a good man shortage as all of the female species claim
I feel that mommies, daddies and society, alike have all
Painted prince charming
In our spirits from early
Where no average man
Can meet the standards, of how many cars and smiles
Ken bought Barbie
And how Disney
Made it possible for all of these knights in shinning armor
To rescue Snow Whites and Rapunzels
Just in the nick of time
So that
They fall
In love
And ever after they're happy
But lord knows
Its not only our black men who are lacking
Because I'd bet my money backing
That Mr.Kennedy disrespected Jacquelin
And Clinton is a testament
That Barack has most likely done things to hurt Michelle's feelings
On more than one occasion
And that's no excuse or praise
For a "man" using the "b" phrase
But women don't go on using
Every bad experience as crutch
for why you're broken
And cry so much
In a war, the wounded hardly ever survive
So bandage your bruises
Run along for more...
Plentiful battlefields of love
A flower tends to grow
When no one is ever watching amongst the madness,
You can find beauty
So be your best without the ridicule of a man's suspecting eye
I won't dwell on the past
I'll just travel on and hope that I'd find something built to last
Ironically, I stand on the left side of the world
All alone
Waiting on
Mister Right
Not like Aladdin, or even Simba
But one who can manifest pleasant memories to grow old with and I never have to struggle to remember
Because I can wake up every morning for the rest of our lives
And re-live them every time I look in your eyes...
I feel that mommies, daddies and society, alike have all
Painted prince charming
In our spirits from early
Where no average man
Can meet the standards, of how many cars and smiles
Ken bought Barbie
And how Disney
Made it possible for all of these knights in shinning armor
To rescue Snow Whites and Rapunzels
Just in the nick of time
So that
They fall
In love
And ever after they're happy
But lord knows
Its not only our black men who are lacking
Because I'd bet my money backing
That Mr.Kennedy disrespected Jacquelin
And Clinton is a testament
That Barack has most likely done things to hurt Michelle's feelings
On more than one occasion
And that's no excuse or praise
For a "man" using the "b" phrase
But women don't go on using
Every bad experience as crutch
for why you're broken
And cry so much
In a war, the wounded hardly ever survive
So bandage your bruises
Run along for more...
Plentiful battlefields of love
A flower tends to grow
When no one is ever watching amongst the madness,
You can find beauty
So be your best without the ridicule of a man's suspecting eye
I won't dwell on the past
I'll just travel on and hope that I'd find something built to last
Ironically, I stand on the left side of the world
All alone
Waiting on
Mister Right
Not like Aladdin, or even Simba
But one who can manifest pleasant memories to grow old with and I never have to struggle to remember
Because I can wake up every morning for the rest of our lives
And re-live them every time I look in your eyes...
Back 2 School
You lie there, between the white and blue pin stripes of my notebook
Speechless
Word less rather,
Because there are no letters that can create words
And eventually sentences
That could capture the immense sensation
You give my mind
The tingle in my abdomen
Like I was in grade school and
I swallowed a butterfly whole
And never left a fraction
So her wings fluttering caused this beautiful queasy reaction
Like a strike to the larynx
I couldn't muster up the words to say
I love you
Before she did
A crush
But I'm crushed
For certain she was not more certain than I
She was merely boisterous
And I
Was shy
Moisture that enveloped my eye
And took its course down my cheek
Hoping these bouts of failure
Would only last for a week
How could I steal you
Like bacon basketball
And show you that my heart was superior
While you hold her hand
And will never hear my tears hit the pavement with
20/20 vision
Head on collision
Had she won your heart honest?
Or beat me to the punch
But I feel as though I have loved you since free lunch
If she's your happy
Then she has won for now
Internally I feel no two people will love for eternity
So I'll fade into the shadows
When that curve ball is served to your beloved
And they yell strike three
I'll show you my epiphany
The return of me
Love spasms
And cherry blossoms
A feeling that is unequivocal to no other
I am
Practicing
Patience
Speechless
Word less rather,
Because there are no letters that can create words
And eventually sentences
That could capture the immense sensation
You give my mind
The tingle in my abdomen
Like I was in grade school and
I swallowed a butterfly whole
And never left a fraction
So her wings fluttering caused this beautiful queasy reaction
Like a strike to the larynx
I couldn't muster up the words to say
I love you
Before she did
A crush
But I'm crushed
For certain she was not more certain than I
She was merely boisterous
And I
Was shy
Moisture that enveloped my eye
And took its course down my cheek
Hoping these bouts of failure
Would only last for a week
How could I steal you
Like bacon basketball
And show you that my heart was superior
While you hold her hand
And will never hear my tears hit the pavement with
20/20 vision
Head on collision
Had she won your heart honest?
Or beat me to the punch
But I feel as though I have loved you since free lunch
If she's your happy
Then she has won for now
Internally I feel no two people will love for eternity
So I'll fade into the shadows
When that curve ball is served to your beloved
And they yell strike three
I'll show you my epiphany
The return of me
Love spasms
And cherry blossoms
A feeling that is unequivocal to no other
I am
Practicing
Patience
Women Play Dress Up
If only I can make you smile the way I make you angry
We'd be on to something great
But I cant get right
Irate woman who pretends to be polite
All in attempts to divert from the status quo
With the frequent use of "maybes" and "you'll never know"
Frailty,
Thy name is
Woman
And my mama always said to be strong
But I cant break the bond between
Strength and unreasonable b-word
So you say, "I miss you" and I reply, "really?"
And with me one has to map out fidelity clearly
Because staying at home waiting for phone calls is beyond primitive
Rosie the riveter and the flappers
Are to blame
For me cringing when you interchange "babe" with my name
If mama would have taken a cue from big mama
Then
My world wouldn't be the same
Dinner would be ready when you got home
But instead I'm rushing to get off of the phone
I would have greeted you with a kiss
In a universe which is not self destructive
I would realize that a man is my Strength
And its okay to be a delicate flower
And to call upon you
When I need power
But women long to be men now
Penis envy,
they yearn to be dependently independent
An impossible task
Drown the woes with the tilt of a flask
Will gin put hair on my chest?
Will wearing trousers make me reek of masculinity?
Although both are mere mortals with different anatomies
But a man is Zeus and the woman a mere servant
We were made to coincide
As crazy as it seems for a feminist
I believe we were made to compliment the man
Notice I say man
One must then see the qualities of what makes a male a man
Its sometimes not too far fetched to soften for him
And not mimic his behavior
No matter how many shaved heads
And hiding your emotions in the EX-boyfriend jeans you that you frequent
It remains that
Frailty
Thy name is
Woman
Good grief
have mercy upon us...
We'd be on to something great
But I cant get right
Irate woman who pretends to be polite
All in attempts to divert from the status quo
With the frequent use of "maybes" and "you'll never know"
Frailty,
Thy name is
Woman
And my mama always said to be strong
But I cant break the bond between
Strength and unreasonable b-word
So you say, "I miss you" and I reply, "really?"
And with me one has to map out fidelity clearly
Because staying at home waiting for phone calls is beyond primitive
Rosie the riveter and the flappers
Are to blame
For me cringing when you interchange "babe" with my name
If mama would have taken a cue from big mama
Then
My world wouldn't be the same
Dinner would be ready when you got home
But instead I'm rushing to get off of the phone
I would have greeted you with a kiss
In a universe which is not self destructive
I would realize that a man is my Strength
And its okay to be a delicate flower
And to call upon you
When I need power
But women long to be men now
Penis envy,
they yearn to be dependently independent
An impossible task
Drown the woes with the tilt of a flask
Will gin put hair on my chest?
Will wearing trousers make me reek of masculinity?
Although both are mere mortals with different anatomies
But a man is Zeus and the woman a mere servant
We were made to coincide
As crazy as it seems for a feminist
I believe we were made to compliment the man
Notice I say man
One must then see the qualities of what makes a male a man
Its sometimes not too far fetched to soften for him
And not mimic his behavior
No matter how many shaved heads
And hiding your emotions in the EX-boyfriend jeans you that you frequent
It remains that
Frailty
Thy name is
Woman
Good grief
have mercy upon us...
Love is Pleasure under Pressure
I don't wanna linger behind traces of her lipsticks
Aromas of her perfume
Because you departed prematurely
From a love gone too soon
Thoughts of you plundering my smile
And raping my heart
Where violent words
Always seem to be erotic to me
Where I hush "I hate yous" with my lips
Against yours
Beg to do me like chores
Hoping that this make up
Will prolong our break up
And love juices will sustain your integrity
At least if not for nothing more...But til the morning
Hold me tight
Like you were born to never let go
You tend to tighten your lips when
I pucker up
And I began to mind surf and wonder
Where I f*cked up
Which leads to tongue wrestling your neck
Deep passionate skin pecks
If only
This feeling could be in my heart
The same way it throbs between my thighs
If only I could give birth to the happy feeling
You give me
When we nude tango
They say I'm heartless
But I've learned emotions never lived there
So I equate
Love with you grasping my flesh
And when your not here
The feeling's gone
Love is
Skin deep.
Aromas of her perfume
Because you departed prematurely
From a love gone too soon
Thoughts of you plundering my smile
And raping my heart
Where violent words
Always seem to be erotic to me
Where I hush "I hate yous" with my lips
Against yours
Beg to do me like chores
Hoping that this make up
Will prolong our break up
And love juices will sustain your integrity
At least if not for nothing more...But til the morning
Hold me tight
Like you were born to never let go
You tend to tighten your lips when
I pucker up
And I began to mind surf and wonder
Where I f*cked up
Which leads to tongue wrestling your neck
Deep passionate skin pecks
If only
This feeling could be in my heart
The same way it throbs between my thighs
If only I could give birth to the happy feeling
You give me
When we nude tango
They say I'm heartless
But I've learned emotions never lived there
So I equate
Love with you grasping my flesh
And when your not here
The feeling's gone
Love is
Skin deep.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Poem for Sissies
I think it is an absolute injustice
that any other woman before me ever wasted your kisses...
Because even hours after you're gone they linger.
I cant quite pen point or use my finger
but there's just something so surreal
about your appeal
How you are here with me all day long and I still can't think of any one else
you give me the feeling equivalent to finding that five dollar bill in the fifth pocket of your favorite denim.
No losses
We only win them
I just hold your pinky
and wonder if forever is too long to grasp it
You are ice cream on a rainy day
That kiss on a "boo-boo" to a toddler
You are embedded in my inner most thoughts
My living dream
Ground breaking
I am in love with you for everything you are not
With you, lost control and my boundaries I forgot
There I stood with a heart half empty
He said I could borrow his
Took me back to playground days
I felt like his foot was last
because he's it
The one
House and one-point-five kids
If I didn't know any better I would have sworn I was his rib.
As if any two people were made for one another
You could convince me
That Zeus, Aphrodite and Eros put you here just for me.
He is the calm after any storm.
The breeze that gently sneaks through my curtain and whispers goodnight.
That ray of sunshine that peeks through the pane and kisses good morning.
A compilation of everything that ever made the corners of my lips turn north.
His words are like tongue kisses that helped my stone heart turn soft
He is my long lost
Happy...
that any other woman before me ever wasted your kisses...
Because even hours after you're gone they linger.
I cant quite pen point or use my finger
but there's just something so surreal
about your appeal
How you are here with me all day long and I still can't think of any one else
you give me the feeling equivalent to finding that five dollar bill in the fifth pocket of your favorite denim.
No losses
We only win them
I just hold your pinky
and wonder if forever is too long to grasp it
You are ice cream on a rainy day
That kiss on a "boo-boo" to a toddler
You are embedded in my inner most thoughts
My living dream
Ground breaking
I am in love with you for everything you are not
With you, lost control and my boundaries I forgot
There I stood with a heart half empty
He said I could borrow his
Took me back to playground days
I felt like his foot was last
because he's it
The one
House and one-point-five kids
If I didn't know any better I would have sworn I was his rib.
As if any two people were made for one another
You could convince me
That Zeus, Aphrodite and Eros put you here just for me.
He is the calm after any storm.
The breeze that gently sneaks through my curtain and whispers goodnight.
That ray of sunshine that peeks through the pane and kisses good morning.
A compilation of everything that ever made the corners of my lips turn north.
His words are like tongue kisses that helped my stone heart turn soft
He is my long lost
Happy...
Clock Forward
All of those memories
You can have those back
The pictures with the girl with the half smile and empty heart
Yea, you can have those back
Tear stains and promises that for you, seemed like they were packaged and delivered broken
You can have that back
Sweet nothings that led to countless hurtful somethings
You can have that back
Love letters with hateful innuendos, truths that went out the window
You can have that back
Return to sender, no return address...
With my heart you were just a borrower
And me, I'll never more be your lender
My heart...
You can't have that back.
Because the darkness of my future couldn't be more clear
No traces of you
Or how it hurt so good
Ascending from my misdemeanor loves
I'm hoping for a felony
With one on the same beat
and hums the same melody
one day Hephaestus will make a mold of him...
And I won't ever settle
No more second place loves..
I need the gold medal
The world never reverses..
The hour hand never backward...
So I take my cue from nature
We walk forward...
And as if nothing ever existed before me...
I won't have the urge to look over my shoulder...for you
You can have those back
The pictures with the girl with the half smile and empty heart
Yea, you can have those back
Tear stains and promises that for you, seemed like they were packaged and delivered broken
You can have that back
Sweet nothings that led to countless hurtful somethings
You can have that back
Love letters with hateful innuendos, truths that went out the window
You can have that back
Return to sender, no return address...
With my heart you were just a borrower
And me, I'll never more be your lender
My heart...
You can't have that back.
Because the darkness of my future couldn't be more clear
No traces of you
Or how it hurt so good
Ascending from my misdemeanor loves
I'm hoping for a felony
With one on the same beat
and hums the same melody
one day Hephaestus will make a mold of him...
And I won't ever settle
No more second place loves..
I need the gold medal
The world never reverses..
The hour hand never backward...
So I take my cue from nature
We walk forward...
And as if nothing ever existed before me...
I won't have the urge to look over my shoulder...for you
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Placebo
Looking back I see I wasn't sh*t
And I can't look in your face everyday and be reminded of it...
I'd rather you move on so my heart could be blinded of it,
And I can go on passing my "love" on to the next pretending to be legit.
Because I can't go on hurting you til the last tid bit,
You used to tickle me pink,
Made me write til there was no ink,
But you,
You need a woman who can say she loves you without having to think
And you,
You need a woman who can be affectionate without having to drink
And you,
You need a woman who will ride out without a second blink,
You really need a woman who knows how to wink,
See all I'm good for is having a little kink,
Some midday loving on the kitchen sink.
You need one who makes hot cocoa and takes you to the roller rink
Not one who get mad and argue wanna push you to the brink
Of war
You need more
Than a poet who pretends to be above par
Just to hide her sub flaw
Thoughts of when daddy walked out the door
And until high school she ain't see em' no more
You don't have baggage claim n your name
This ain't grade school
That ain't your aim
This ain't obedience school
Wild hearts can't be tamed
This woman is not an animal she can't be trained
This love is false
Emotions will be strained
She is a duty
Your energy will be strained
So let's rewind
Back to that day in April
When it hardly ever rained
And you wore that smile
And an intellectual brain
But do me one small favor
Don't ask me my name...
And I can't look in your face everyday and be reminded of it...
I'd rather you move on so my heart could be blinded of it,
And I can go on passing my "love" on to the next pretending to be legit.
Because I can't go on hurting you til the last tid bit,
You used to tickle me pink,
Made me write til there was no ink,
But you,
You need a woman who can say she loves you without having to think
And you,
You need a woman who can be affectionate without having to drink
And you,
You need a woman who will ride out without a second blink,
You really need a woman who knows how to wink,
See all I'm good for is having a little kink,
Some midday loving on the kitchen sink.
You need one who makes hot cocoa and takes you to the roller rink
Not one who get mad and argue wanna push you to the brink
Of war
You need more
Than a poet who pretends to be above par
Just to hide her sub flaw
Thoughts of when daddy walked out the door
And until high school she ain't see em' no more
You don't have baggage claim n your name
This ain't grade school
That ain't your aim
This ain't obedience school
Wild hearts can't be tamed
This woman is not an animal she can't be trained
This love is false
Emotions will be strained
She is a duty
Your energy will be strained
So let's rewind
Back to that day in April
When it hardly ever rained
And you wore that smile
And an intellectual brain
But do me one small favor
Don't ask me my name...
Friday, June 25, 2010
No Answers
Sometimes I wonder why
Love is pain and
Ignorance is bliss
but I never remember mommy saying there'd be days like this
When I dont kno whether to cry or to kiss
Whether to want loneliness or have you to miss
I often wonder why my dreams are more like nightmares with you
and how my sweet talk is more like shouting and rage with you
I went out of my element to be on the same page as you
They say pain is pleasure
but what happened to the days when were like my hidden treasure
With you I wouldn't hold back I'd say whatever
but now you hold me like never
And I don't even wake up wishing you were near me
So distant, seems like you fear me
I used to love you like Geneva's sweet potatoe pie
And Teresa's macaroni
but our together days are filled with something so lonely
I loved you like friction in my bed
The curls in my head
Warmth in my sheets
but your transforming like hail into sleet
Hot and cold
This humble man has gotten so bold
Heart has gone cold
And I was once the remedy
but your love doesn't remember me
I wonder why love doesn't love me anymore
Why love seldomly adorns my door
but still I have the hunger for more
All smiles on the exterior
Broken and fragmented under the sub layers
By men who swear they are players
I wonder why love makes them so resistant
And as women we are taught to be persistent
but I loved you like a caramel frappacino
I loved you like a gambler frequents the casino
I loved you like a lemon grass bath on a sunday
I loved you like the first flower in the month of may
but thats the past
All things dont last
Sometimes two good things dont agree
and they collide and explode like kinetic energy
Now every new guy has to deal with the aftermath of the f*cked up sh*t you've done to me...
Love is pain and
Ignorance is bliss
but I never remember mommy saying there'd be days like this
When I dont kno whether to cry or to kiss
Whether to want loneliness or have you to miss
I often wonder why my dreams are more like nightmares with you
and how my sweet talk is more like shouting and rage with you
I went out of my element to be on the same page as you
They say pain is pleasure
but what happened to the days when were like my hidden treasure
With you I wouldn't hold back I'd say whatever
but now you hold me like never
And I don't even wake up wishing you were near me
So distant, seems like you fear me
I used to love you like Geneva's sweet potatoe pie
And Teresa's macaroni
but our together days are filled with something so lonely
I loved you like friction in my bed
The curls in my head
Warmth in my sheets
but your transforming like hail into sleet
Hot and cold
This humble man has gotten so bold
Heart has gone cold
And I was once the remedy
but your love doesn't remember me
I wonder why love doesn't love me anymore
Why love seldomly adorns my door
but still I have the hunger for more
All smiles on the exterior
Broken and fragmented under the sub layers
By men who swear they are players
I wonder why love makes them so resistant
And as women we are taught to be persistent
but I loved you like a caramel frappacino
I loved you like a gambler frequents the casino
I loved you like a lemon grass bath on a sunday
I loved you like the first flower in the month of may
but thats the past
All things dont last
Sometimes two good things dont agree
and they collide and explode like kinetic energy
Now every new guy has to deal with the aftermath of the f*cked up sh*t you've done to me...
Check Mate(s)
I called your bluff
Took a pull and one big puff
Because out of lack of words we were just cool n’ stuff
But for a popular guy it’s safer to play tough
Like my gentle touch and love wasn’t enough
Our life was like a chess board, white and black
Hot and cold spaces and lines that neither of us could cross
Words and promises that were lost
One big coin toss
And I was just
Lost
Because all I’ve ever hoped for was heads, and you...
I guess I’d have to say some tail
While we chat about unimportant details and send semi-casual emails
Until our boats drifted and set sails to opposite destinations
My heart longing for your reciprocation
Only to be greeted by coldness and constant defecation
My love was on probation for a crime I didn’t commit
Or one I’d like to forget
For a dude who was legit,well...
Maybe
May he
Love me despite my flaws
I’ve waited at closed doors, in the cold with no answer
But he was home
Struggling and surviving on past years and old dates
When you dish dirt its hard to stomach your own plate
But don’t deal facades you can’t live with
So when you’re ready to conform
I’ll be ready and waiting with two words
Check
And
Mate
Took a pull and one big puff
Because out of lack of words we were just cool n’ stuff
But for a popular guy it’s safer to play tough
Like my gentle touch and love wasn’t enough
Our life was like a chess board, white and black
Hot and cold spaces and lines that neither of us could cross
Words and promises that were lost
One big coin toss
And I was just
Lost
Because all I’ve ever hoped for was heads, and you...
I guess I’d have to say some tail
While we chat about unimportant details and send semi-casual emails
Until our boats drifted and set sails to opposite destinations
My heart longing for your reciprocation
Only to be greeted by coldness and constant defecation
My love was on probation for a crime I didn’t commit
Or one I’d like to forget
For a dude who was legit,well...
Maybe
May he
Love me despite my flaws
I’ve waited at closed doors, in the cold with no answer
But he was home
Struggling and surviving on past years and old dates
When you dish dirt its hard to stomach your own plate
But don’t deal facades you can’t live with
So when you’re ready to conform
I’ll be ready and waiting with two words
Check
And
Mate
Dormant
You lie there in all of your glory and splendor
Huge build
Overbearing and most likely tender
A magnificent story
Covered in soot and eruptions from previous loves and combustions
Lips still wet from heated discussions
But I’ve seen you before
You were quiet
Not loud and boisterous but still full of orange deadly liquid
That a park slope girl like me could never really mix with
I could feel your loveless aura
Penetrate through your hard exterior
Traces of lies, deception and all things inferior
One long glance at you and I realized maybe he was worth a try
A charming inquisitive yet sensitive guy
Contagious laugh and yet still shy
A little less intimidating
Maybe he wont make me cry
And maybe with him I wont have to lie
Unless its in his arms
He lie dormant
Right under my nose
Noticed this unbudded rose
Knocked me right off my toes
With ring pops and unspoken bonds to propose
To never let me go
To hold pinkies
And re-live our childhood’s
Like water guns and slinkies
Sweet like cotton candy and twinkies
He lie dormant
Thoughts of him all day caused my mind torment
Easy transition from “hi friend”
To “Hey you”
And if we got fancy
I’d say hey “beau”
More my speed
More like my personal international menu
More like an all-in one venue
When that one number can be dialed for all purposes
Scratch all surfaces
Kisses for the superfluous
If I could create a word I’d say being dormant made you
The Perfect-est
For me..
Huge build
Overbearing and most likely tender
A magnificent story
Covered in soot and eruptions from previous loves and combustions
Lips still wet from heated discussions
But I’ve seen you before
You were quiet
Not loud and boisterous but still full of orange deadly liquid
That a park slope girl like me could never really mix with
I could feel your loveless aura
Penetrate through your hard exterior
Traces of lies, deception and all things inferior
One long glance at you and I realized maybe he was worth a try
A charming inquisitive yet sensitive guy
Contagious laugh and yet still shy
A little less intimidating
Maybe he wont make me cry
And maybe with him I wont have to lie
Unless its in his arms
He lie dormant
Right under my nose
Noticed this unbudded rose
Knocked me right off my toes
With ring pops and unspoken bonds to propose
To never let me go
To hold pinkies
And re-live our childhood’s
Like water guns and slinkies
Sweet like cotton candy and twinkies
He lie dormant
Thoughts of him all day caused my mind torment
Easy transition from “hi friend”
To “Hey you”
And if we got fancy
I’d say hey “beau”
More my speed
More like my personal international menu
More like an all-in one venue
When that one number can be dialed for all purposes
Scratch all surfaces
Kisses for the superfluous
If I could create a word I’d say being dormant made you
The Perfect-est
For me..
Time Killer
We will not call you procrastinator
Stagnant, or inactive
I won't say you waste valuable moments that could have been potential memories
Or dollars possibly spilling down the drain of life
I won't say you're jaded or unmotivated
Or that you take this calendar for granted
Cus I urged you to make haste
But you retained your pace
And you sat and stared at the clock's face
And fraternized with peers, with grace
I will not say that you stagger
And delay the time allotted for your potential dynasty to race
I'll just say that you've lost your way
And you need to pave your own
Place
Too late to dine
So make your own plate
Too many names and no room for yours
Erase to design a clean slate
I won't say that the minute or the hour hand has conquered you
I'll say that you ironically needed time
To seek the best part
Of the inner you...
Stagnant, or inactive
I won't say you waste valuable moments that could have been potential memories
Or dollars possibly spilling down the drain of life
I won't say you're jaded or unmotivated
Or that you take this calendar for granted
Cus I urged you to make haste
But you retained your pace
And you sat and stared at the clock's face
And fraternized with peers, with grace
I will not say that you stagger
And delay the time allotted for your potential dynasty to race
I'll just say that you've lost your way
And you need to pave your own
Place
Too late to dine
So make your own plate
Too many names and no room for yours
Erase to design a clean slate
I won't say that the minute or the hour hand has conquered you
I'll say that you ironically needed time
To seek the best part
Of the inner you...
White Flags
It pained me to see that he couldn't wrap his mind around our happiness
He was most comfortable confused, chaotic and twisted.
Like a head of hair full of nappiness
Life’s downward or upward spirals were are all mere passengers
He'd rather talk about the things I can't tell him or the dreams I can't sell him
Go out on a whim
I'm the type to fall off a ledge whether or not I can or cannot swim
He would fall off and cling frantically to the brim
Let go
Its more down there
He's more concerned about whether or not his friends will be there
Like a student without pen or paper, I came unprepared
I never factored in the time we shared
Because it was just me and him
But his mind was never there
Absent
Wish I had a compass so I could map it
We were
Lost
Hoping to never find and confront the real shit that was on our minds
We hoped that in the past we had left behind
The drama
The karma
But it was evident when his attitude was somber
That he was remembering
My vulnerability
My mistake
But I loved him extensively
Even though he had the propensity
To love me then leave me, to those hot and cold extremities
Still I felt his shoulder was meant for me
Like that spot where his neck meets his shoulder was made especially for my chin
To lay
To honor and obey
But his fears weren't at bay
I was sailing my boat
But he let down his anchor
Stifled
I wish I could murder his reservations with a rifle
Put those ills to rest like Nyquil
My team mate
And I was standing there waiting for him to come around with the baton
But that day never came
And all I could think about was
"If it weren't for what's his name"
But that was my fault
A pill I can't swallow
My heart I cannot hollow
My own act I can't follow
My destiny
Is to travel on a parallel path with my beloved
To never meet
A heat I could never seek
And thoughts I could never speak
Because Webster couldn't manufacture words
That will ease your mind
And make you mine....
So I suppose this is a battle that I will leave in the hands of father time....
He was most comfortable confused, chaotic and twisted.
Like a head of hair full of nappiness
Life’s downward or upward spirals were are all mere passengers
He'd rather talk about the things I can't tell him or the dreams I can't sell him
Go out on a whim
I'm the type to fall off a ledge whether or not I can or cannot swim
He would fall off and cling frantically to the brim
Let go
Its more down there
He's more concerned about whether or not his friends will be there
Like a student without pen or paper, I came unprepared
I never factored in the time we shared
Because it was just me and him
But his mind was never there
Absent
Wish I had a compass so I could map it
We were
Lost
Hoping to never find and confront the real shit that was on our minds
We hoped that in the past we had left behind
The drama
The karma
But it was evident when his attitude was somber
That he was remembering
My vulnerability
My mistake
But I loved him extensively
Even though he had the propensity
To love me then leave me, to those hot and cold extremities
Still I felt his shoulder was meant for me
Like that spot where his neck meets his shoulder was made especially for my chin
To lay
To honor and obey
But his fears weren't at bay
I was sailing my boat
But he let down his anchor
Stifled
I wish I could murder his reservations with a rifle
Put those ills to rest like Nyquil
My team mate
And I was standing there waiting for him to come around with the baton
But that day never came
And all I could think about was
"If it weren't for what's his name"
But that was my fault
A pill I can't swallow
My heart I cannot hollow
My own act I can't follow
My destiny
Is to travel on a parallel path with my beloved
To never meet
A heat I could never seek
And thoughts I could never speak
Because Webster couldn't manufacture words
That will ease your mind
And make you mine....
So I suppose this is a battle that I will leave in the hands of father time....
Tomorrow Today
Somewhere between living and dreaming maybe even believing
I see her and then I see a man with a familiar face and I often wonder what occupies his empty spaces,
What voids could I fill, if I could be an asset, and my mind works so annoyingly fast that I cant push thoughts away or look past it..
I look at her, the pretty brown woman he sports by his side
I feel so insignificant I wish I could hide
My mind gets the best of me
And drifts off from the rest of me
As I wonder how many other souls has he collided with before hers
I believe when being in love or being in the act of “love”
We often sacrifice a piece of ourselves
Interchanges between souls
Although no two people are oddly alike or similarly dissimilar
We have to alter or bend a piece of ourselves to make the other happy
Strangely enough I look at him and think, “what if?”
What if we met before my brain began to tick
What if we met some where in the middle before my first love and my last
But would I have been the same woman he once pined for, and would he have been the sensitive man behind those wooden doors of the beautifully sculpted brownstone?
Who could ever know?
Sometimes I look at the statue of the “thinker”
He looks so intent on whatever it is
But yet he’s stagnant, stone, and stuck there to interminably ponder his thoughts
My mind contains so much baggage
But from the outside I seem average
Inside I’m an analytical being who refutes marriage
I wish I could unload all these woes into a carriage
Cart them away
But I looked at him and wondered where he had been
Not how he was
But what was his history
He carried artifacts that seemed to be a mystery
The shiny pinky ring glistened I wondered if it was from a past love who gave it to him as a promise of their love.
Was he always as affectionate with others as he was with her? Or was she simply the kind of woman whose aura screamed out “be soft and love me!”
I’m not an easy woman to love
My heart is guarded by watch dogs
With a fence, in a box with chains
Surrounded by a mote, I refuse to lend any of my time or devote
In love I will never drown.
I float
I was envious of her
Green because their love seemed so enticing
I kicked myself in dismay that I might have missed a chance for the right thing
He was.
Or maybe, I’m not sure.
I pulled back when he yearned for more
But I felt my heart descend when he and her walked through the door
I’m too unsure
A woman made alone
Like purchasing a single shoe
No pair
I’m unaware
Of what hazards have put my heart in such a state of un-repair
At that moment I wish that I knew what tomorrow held today
Not being psychic but a little more intuitive
I would have held him, kissed him and I would have known
Yes I will be yours and share a piece of me with you
But I played it safe
And opted out, with gloomy thoughts and shadows of a doubt.
I cast him away, pushed him out
Until this day
And he stands there with her
With his clean goatee
He smiles a wide smile with no traces of me
Reverse the calendars go back to that day
When I said I was confused and didn’t want you to stay
Take back the curse words and empty threats
Just erase them all I hope you forget
Subtract her and start a new
And this time I will be there for you
If only I knew tomorrow today
You’d be holding my hand in that same loving way
Reverse the future and bring back the past
Before her
Before me
Before you
Become we, erase this intense jealousy
If only I could see tomorrow today
You could have been in my arms and here on this day
And maybe some poor girl who caused you dismay
Would take my place and sit here and ponder in this same disarray
If I could take it all away
Damn, if only I could have saw tomorrow today
I see her and then I see a man with a familiar face and I often wonder what occupies his empty spaces,
What voids could I fill, if I could be an asset, and my mind works so annoyingly fast that I cant push thoughts away or look past it..
I look at her, the pretty brown woman he sports by his side
I feel so insignificant I wish I could hide
My mind gets the best of me
And drifts off from the rest of me
As I wonder how many other souls has he collided with before hers
I believe when being in love or being in the act of “love”
We often sacrifice a piece of ourselves
Interchanges between souls
Although no two people are oddly alike or similarly dissimilar
We have to alter or bend a piece of ourselves to make the other happy
Strangely enough I look at him and think, “what if?”
What if we met before my brain began to tick
What if we met some where in the middle before my first love and my last
But would I have been the same woman he once pined for, and would he have been the sensitive man behind those wooden doors of the beautifully sculpted brownstone?
Who could ever know?
Sometimes I look at the statue of the “thinker”
He looks so intent on whatever it is
But yet he’s stagnant, stone, and stuck there to interminably ponder his thoughts
My mind contains so much baggage
But from the outside I seem average
Inside I’m an analytical being who refutes marriage
I wish I could unload all these woes into a carriage
Cart them away
But I looked at him and wondered where he had been
Not how he was
But what was his history
He carried artifacts that seemed to be a mystery
The shiny pinky ring glistened I wondered if it was from a past love who gave it to him as a promise of their love.
Was he always as affectionate with others as he was with her? Or was she simply the kind of woman whose aura screamed out “be soft and love me!”
I’m not an easy woman to love
My heart is guarded by watch dogs
With a fence, in a box with chains
Surrounded by a mote, I refuse to lend any of my time or devote
In love I will never drown.
I float
I was envious of her
Green because their love seemed so enticing
I kicked myself in dismay that I might have missed a chance for the right thing
He was.
Or maybe, I’m not sure.
I pulled back when he yearned for more
But I felt my heart descend when he and her walked through the door
I’m too unsure
A woman made alone
Like purchasing a single shoe
No pair
I’m unaware
Of what hazards have put my heart in such a state of un-repair
At that moment I wish that I knew what tomorrow held today
Not being psychic but a little more intuitive
I would have held him, kissed him and I would have known
Yes I will be yours and share a piece of me with you
But I played it safe
And opted out, with gloomy thoughts and shadows of a doubt.
I cast him away, pushed him out
Until this day
And he stands there with her
With his clean goatee
He smiles a wide smile with no traces of me
Reverse the calendars go back to that day
When I said I was confused and didn’t want you to stay
Take back the curse words and empty threats
Just erase them all I hope you forget
Subtract her and start a new
And this time I will be there for you
If only I knew tomorrow today
You’d be holding my hand in that same loving way
Reverse the future and bring back the past
Before her
Before me
Before you
Become we, erase this intense jealousy
If only I could see tomorrow today
You could have been in my arms and here on this day
And maybe some poor girl who caused you dismay
Would take my place and sit here and ponder in this same disarray
If I could take it all away
Damn, if only I could have saw tomorrow today
Cloudy Day?
How can you tell the sun not to shine?
Put a blanket over it and down play its brightness
It’s bold and strong but you play on its politeness
Blisters I’ve encountered from hugging him too long
It’s great for me
But why does it inflict wounds that may become scars?
It’s all in my mind
I’ve been loving him like the fourteenth of February
I’ve been reading him like my personal library
But I urge him not to love me
I feel I’m incapable; damaged goods
Irregular
But he kisses my flaws
Hugs my wars
And misses the fact that I am a chore
I tell him to turn off his love light
Like a broken lightening bug
I don’t want him to glow
I don’t want this feeling to flow
I don’t want him to know
I don’t want him to show,
Me the things that I’ve been missing
Reminiscing
From Math 101
And orientation
Who knew we’d blossom into this magnificent presentation
Of both rushing and being patient
If I were a teacher he’d stay after school
So smart, but I’d be his fool
So hot but for him I’d be cool
He uses his mind as some kind of tool
A secret weapon
But I don’t want to spoil the mystery
Some much pain
And he can free me from misery
But I often tell the sun not to shine
Keep my universe dim
Keep the chances slim
And I go for months living without him
Until chances of survival become slim
I travel to find him
Whisper
Trace the outline of his lips
I need this source
The light
For my life
To make me smile
I need the sun to shine
To erase all shadows of my doubt
To show me I cannot do without
To hug me when I’m sad and I pout
To calm me when I scream and shout
To thaw my coldness
To make sense of my confusion and turmoil
To be in sync like Popeye and Olive Oil
Today I woke up and I opened my curtains to let him in
A special lover and a closer friend
And here’s one instance where I don’t want the fairy tale to end
Just wake up every morning and re-begin.
My sunshine, my lover, my really great friend.
Put a blanket over it and down play its brightness
It’s bold and strong but you play on its politeness
Blisters I’ve encountered from hugging him too long
It’s great for me
But why does it inflict wounds that may become scars?
It’s all in my mind
I’ve been loving him like the fourteenth of February
I’ve been reading him like my personal library
But I urge him not to love me
I feel I’m incapable; damaged goods
Irregular
But he kisses my flaws
Hugs my wars
And misses the fact that I am a chore
I tell him to turn off his love light
Like a broken lightening bug
I don’t want him to glow
I don’t want this feeling to flow
I don’t want him to know
I don’t want him to show,
Me the things that I’ve been missing
Reminiscing
From Math 101
And orientation
Who knew we’d blossom into this magnificent presentation
Of both rushing and being patient
If I were a teacher he’d stay after school
So smart, but I’d be his fool
So hot but for him I’d be cool
He uses his mind as some kind of tool
A secret weapon
But I don’t want to spoil the mystery
Some much pain
And he can free me from misery
But I often tell the sun not to shine
Keep my universe dim
Keep the chances slim
And I go for months living without him
Until chances of survival become slim
I travel to find him
Whisper
Trace the outline of his lips
I need this source
The light
For my life
To make me smile
I need the sun to shine
To erase all shadows of my doubt
To show me I cannot do without
To hug me when I’m sad and I pout
To calm me when I scream and shout
To thaw my coldness
To make sense of my confusion and turmoil
To be in sync like Popeye and Olive Oil
Today I woke up and I opened my curtains to let him in
A special lover and a closer friend
And here’s one instance where I don’t want the fairy tale to end
Just wake up every morning and re-begin.
My sunshine, my lover, my really great friend.
In Love with the Inverse of Positive
Close your eyes to prevent it from seeping in
So pretty but
Deadly upon impact
Shattered glass
Was the aftermath of our bad math
It could been the best we never had
I wanted to ace the test we never had
Never to think your heart's guardian would hurt you so bad
Confusion and endless bliss
But I'd rather feel this than nothing at all
I'd rather feel big sometimes than to always feel small
I'd rather fall hard once than to never had at all
Because its beautiful when he's in my sight
Like utopia, o’ so right
And too much love overflows into a fight
But kisses were made to be used when words become superfluous
So we tongue wrestle until we forget that in this situation we chose to settle
Indian giver, I want to take back my heart
But my emotions don’t know where to start at
He has the most beautiful broken promises
And immaculate neglect
But his actions my mind won't reject
I just continue and hope our love will some day resurrect,
I have a hypothesis like a school science project
Two perfect specimens in the right place wrong time
But my senses loved him long time
Hard to separate the aspect
Because friendship, we have long surpassed it
In love with my friend and I desire more with my lover
Extremely hard thing to attempt to recover
Because I forget it all under the comforts of his covers....
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