Standing outside
In front of my grandmothers gate
Snow day
Suited in armor
A down jacket, purple gloves
A tam with a bow
Face fully equipped with an excessive amount of Vaseline
I stood there
Head to the sky
Marveling over the delicate flakes
That stuck to my eyelashes
Licked my tongue out to taste one
But it melted too fast for me to even notice…
Reminds me in retrospect
Of all the intriguing things gone too soon
Like my first crush, who often
Pulled that one twist that mommy always seemed to let hang over my left eye
Love notes, words written that took up the entire space of standard-ruled paper
Whenever there was juice in the cafeteria, he’d save me one
Snack time, in exchange for my baby toothed smile
He’d give me fruit by the foot, which would often warrant a cheek kiss.
Til Miss Taylor sent a note home.
Life has always been on fast forward, and like that snowflake, at twenty-four I can’t remember what that juice tasted like.
Ironic how men still “woo” me with drinks
Sparkly and carbonated in pretty flute glasses
Kind of like the ones daddy used to give mommy and she’d look at him with the glimmer in her eyes. That look I always envied because she was far too beautiful to be real…
But much like that snowflake and that juice, all those random glasses of champagne
I couldn’t squint my hardest to tell you how those once tasted.
Life is always in warp speed, where I can’t remember memories, and things people said who were once dear to me.
I do know that some epic loves are filled with more tears and frowns than smiles and kisses.
I see him in rearview, that moment seems so close, but that man is so far away.
I was quite the charmer
The expert to come along and disarm an untrusting man’s armor
I’ve stolen hearts without permission
And often return them in irreparable condition
So I sit here on grandma’s step
Like old times, head to the sky
Wishing…
That a snowflake would fall,
That I could taste and remember…
And it’s far from December
What I’m trying to say is, there never were memories lasting, I often went without love like I was fasting
Potential loves that come and go
Unique snowflakes
I just hope one would fall that I could hold
And never
Let go
