Beyond Repair

It began
As quickly as it ended
I beg you
Please pick
My heart up
Off the ground
Amidst the broken glass
And illegal drug paraphernalia
She said
Take my mind for now
Trial period.
Fatal error
To assume that your mind was
As advanced as mine
To journey in this era
Where all you can think of are Nike’s
And a new era
Where I lend you my hand to kiss
And instead I’m given
The fleshy part of your lower back
that fill out those cargo shorts so well
She whispered
I want my mind back
Because all day
During work
All I could type was your name
And all throughout school
The collages of pictures and videos all managed to relate to you some how
He said give me your lips
although hesitant and unsure she obliged
Sealed with every kiss of death,
seemed to take a day or two off of her broken heart
Which she promised she wouldn’t give a way
In the start
But when women say they’ll love with mental and carnal aspects only
It always fails
Because he has your heart
The day a man walks by and you think that would smell better on
What’s his face
If only he’d love you like you loved him
Urge you
Love me back
And some day he will
But that day seems too long to wait for
But he’ll find you
By the blood stained path
Of all the tears your heart cried
And stab wounds that no other man will ever
Be able to heal…

So-So Endings

I don't believe that there's a good man shortage as all of the female species claim
I feel that mommies, daddies and society, alike have all
Painted prince charming
In our spirits from early
Where no average man
Can meet the standards, of how many cars and smiles
Ken bought Barbie
And how Disney
Made it possible for all of these knights in shinning armor
To rescue Snow Whites and Rapunzels
Just in the nick of time
So that
They fall
In love
And ever after they're happy
But lord knows
Its not only our black men who are lacking
Because I'd bet my money backing
That Mr.Kennedy disrespected Jacquelin
And Clinton is a testament
That Barack has most likely done things to hurt Michelle's feelings
On more than one occasion
And that's no excuse or praise
For a "man" using the "b" phrase
But women don't go on using
Every bad experience as crutch
for why you're broken
And cry so much
In a war, the wounded hardly ever survive
So bandage your bruises
Run along for more...
Plentiful battlefields of love
A flower tends to grow
When no one is ever watching amongst the madness,
You can find beauty
So be your best without the ridicule of a man's suspecting eye
I won't dwell on the past
I'll just travel on and hope that I'd find something built to last
Ironically, I stand on the left side of the world
All alone
Waiting on
Mister Right
Not like Aladdin, or even Simba
But one who can manifest pleasant memories to grow old with and I never have to struggle to remember
Because I can wake up every morning for the rest of our lives
And re-live them every time I look in your eyes...

Back 2 School

You lie there, between the white and blue pin stripes of my notebook
Speechless
Word less rather,
Because there are no letters that can create words
And eventually sentences
That could capture the immense sensation
You give my mind
The tingle in my abdomen
Like I was in grade school and
I swallowed a butterfly whole
And never left a fraction
So her wings fluttering caused this beautiful queasy reaction
Like a strike to the larynx
I couldn't muster up the words to say
I love you
Before she did
A crush
But I'm crushed
For certain she was not more certain than I
She was merely boisterous
And I
Was shy
Moisture that enveloped my eye
And took its course down my cheek
Hoping these bouts of failure
Would only last for a week
How could I steal you
Like bacon basketball
And show you that my heart was superior
While you hold her hand
And will never hear my tears hit the pavement with
20/20 vision
Head on collision
Had she won your heart honest?
Or beat me to the punch
But I feel as though I have loved you since free lunch
If she's your happy
Then she has won for now
Internally I feel no two people will love for eternity
So I'll fade into the shadows
When that curve ball is served to your beloved
And they yell strike three
I'll show you my epiphany
The return of me
Love spasms
And cherry blossoms
A feeling that is unequivocal to no other
I am
Practicing
Patience

Women Play Dress Up

If only I can make you smile the way I make you angry
We'd be on to something great
But I cant get right
Irate woman who pretends to be polite
All in attempts to divert from the status quo
With the frequent use of "maybes" and "you'll never know"
Frailty,
Thy name is
Woman
And my mama always said to be strong
But I cant break the bond between
Strength and unreasonable b-word
So you say, "I miss you" and I reply, "really?"
And with me one has to map out fidelity clearly
Because staying at home waiting for phone calls is beyond primitive
Rosie the riveter and the flappers
Are to blame
For me cringing when you interchange "babe" with my name
If mama would have taken a cue from big mama
Then
My world wouldn't be the same
Dinner would be ready when you got home
But instead I'm rushing to get off of the phone
I would have greeted you with a kiss
In a universe which is not self destructive
I would realize that a man is my Strength
And its okay to be a delicate flower
And to call upon you
When I need power
But women long to be men now
Penis envy,
they yearn to be dependently independent
An impossible task
Drown the woes with the tilt of a flask
Will gin put hair on my chest?
Will wearing trousers make me reek of masculinity?
Although both are mere mortals with different anatomies
But a man is Zeus and the woman a mere servant
We were made to coincide
As crazy as it seems for a feminist
I believe we were made to compliment the man
Notice I say man
One must then see the qualities of what makes a male a man
Its sometimes not too far fetched to soften for him
And not mimic his behavior
No matter how many shaved heads
And hiding your emotions in the EX-boyfriend jeans you that you frequent
It remains that
Frailty
Thy name is
Woman
Good grief
have mercy upon us...

Love is Pleasure under Pressure

I don't wanna linger behind traces of her lipsticks
Aromas of her perfume
Because you departed prematurely
From a love gone too soon
Thoughts of you plundering my smile
And raping my heart
Where violent words
Always seem to be erotic to me
Where I hush "I hate yous" with my lips
Against yours
Beg to do me like chores
Hoping that this make up
Will prolong our break up
And love juices will sustain your integrity
At least if not for nothing more...But til the morning
Hold me tight
Like you were born to never let go
You tend to tighten your lips when
I pucker up
And I began to mind surf and wonder
Where I f*cked up
Which leads to tongue wrestling your neck
Deep passionate skin pecks
If only
This feeling could be in my heart
The same way it throbs between my thighs
If only I could give birth to the happy feeling
You give me
When we nude tango
They say I'm heartless
But I've learned emotions never lived there
So I equate
Love with you grasping my flesh
And when your not here
The feeling's gone
Love is
Skin deep.

Poem for Sissies

I think it is an absolute injustice
that any other woman before me ever wasted your kisses...
Because even hours after you're gone they linger.
I cant quite pen point or use my finger
but there's just something so surreal
about your appeal
How you are here with me all day long and I still can't think of any one else
you give me the feeling equivalent to finding that five dollar bill in the fifth pocket of your favorite denim.
No losses
We only win them
I just hold your pinky
and wonder if forever is too long to grasp it
You are ice cream on a rainy day
That kiss on a "boo-boo" to a toddler
You are embedded in my inner most thoughts
My living dream
Ground breaking
I am in love with you for everything you are not
With you, lost control and my boundaries I forgot
There I stood with a heart half empty
He said I could borrow his
Took me back to playground days
I felt like his foot was last
because he's it
The one
House and one-point-five kids
If I didn't know any better I would have sworn I was his rib.
As if any two people were made for one another
You could convince me
That Zeus, Aphrodite and Eros put you here just for me.
He is the calm after any storm.
The breeze that gently sneaks through my curtain and whispers goodnight.
That ray of sunshine that peeks through the pane and kisses good morning.
A compilation of everything that ever made the corners of my lips turn north.
His words are like tongue kisses that helped my stone heart turn soft
He is my long lost
Happy...

Clock Forward

All of those memories
You can have those back
The pictures with the girl with the half smile and empty heart
Yea, you can have those back
Tear stains and promises that for you, seemed like they were packaged and delivered broken
You can have that back
Sweet nothings that led to countless hurtful somethings
You can have that back
Love letters with hateful innuendos, truths that went out the window
You can have that back
Return to sender, no return address...
With my heart you were just a borrower
And me, I'll never more be your lender
My heart...
You can't have that back.
Because the darkness of my future couldn't be more clear
No traces of you
Or how it hurt so good
Ascending from my misdemeanor loves
I'm hoping for a felony
With one on the same beat
and hums the same melody
one day Hephaestus will make a mold of him...
And I won't ever settle
No more second place loves..
I need the gold medal
The world never reverses..
The hour hand never backward...
So I take my cue from nature
We walk forward...
And as if nothing ever existed before me...
I won't have the urge to look over my shoulder...for you