Make do

Poetry is my addiction
Learning to write without a muse because there's not enough antidote in the world to heal my previous afflictions
My priors, my convictions.
I find my calm in the kitchen where chicken provides no resistance.
Unlike men when you accidentally let that L word escape from your lips,
Then your waring, unlike lovers but more like bloods and crips.
They'd like to say you were falling but I'd say I tripped because love can't be genuine with all your little tricks
Like promises of forever mores.
And the thoughts of a weird but great combination like smores.
But putting forth my effort with you is something i hate to do,
Chores
And all your excitement
Bores
Is this what i have to encounter to be yours?
Overrated
Lust finally faded
And i see that we are interested in one another
But don't take interests in one anothers interest
What kind of love
Could you have for me?
If our passions are separately owned with no
Apostrophe
Leave now
Avoid catastrophe
And the consolation that your
Selfish ways
Never mastered me

Long Term Potentiation

Standing outside

In front of my grandmothers gate

Snow day

Suited in armor

A down jacket, purple gloves

A tam with a bow

Face fully equipped with an excessive amount of Vaseline

I stood there

Head to the sky

Marveling over the delicate flakes

That stuck to my eyelashes

Licked my tongue out to taste one

But it melted too fast for me to even notice…



Reminds me in retrospect

Of all the intriguing things gone too soon

Like my first crush, who often

Pulled that one twist that mommy always seemed to let hang over my left eye

Love notes, words written that took up the entire space of standard-ruled paper

Whenever there was juice in the cafeteria, he’d save me one

Snack time, in exchange for my baby toothed smile

He’d give me fruit by the foot, which would often warrant a cheek kiss.

Til Miss Taylor sent a note home.



Life has always been on fast forward, and like that snowflake, at twenty-four I can’t remember what that juice tasted like.

Ironic how men still “woo” me with drinks

Sparkly and carbonated in pretty flute glasses

Kind of like the ones daddy used to give mommy and she’d look at him with the glimmer in her eyes. That look I always envied because she was far too beautiful to be real…

But much like that snowflake and that juice, all those random glasses of champagne

I couldn’t squint my hardest to tell you how those once tasted.



Life is always in warp speed, where I can’t remember memories, and things people said who were once dear to me.



I do know that some epic loves are filled with more tears and frowns than smiles and kisses.

I see him in rearview, that moment seems so close, but that man is so far away.



I was quite the charmer

The expert to come along and disarm an untrusting man’s armor

I’ve stolen hearts without permission

And often return them in irreparable condition

So I sit here on grandma’s step

Like old times, head to the sky

Wishing…

That a snowflake would fall,

That I could taste and remember…

And it’s far from December



What I’m trying to say is, there never were memories lasting, I often went without love like I was fasting

Potential loves that come and go

Unique snowflakes

I just hope one would fall that I could hold

And never

Let go

Lighthouse

Shipwrecked
From warm summers
Cold shoulders
Rejects
Tepid pecks
A heart broken beyond repair
No kind spirits
No one to care
Like my titanic was just wounded
Trying to stay afloat without a life jacket
Tennis match and no racket
Vulnerable
Without a whistle to blow
I could be submerged in this ocean tomb
And no one would ever know
They say never let a good thing go
But I think I let a good thing grow
Because I think its better that way
More pain when you stay
And we were completely lost
But now I have courage and wisdom
Like there's a lighthouse
Guiding my way
All hope isn't lost
Drowning in the deep blue
But I met fish out there
I made a wish out there
To never be hurt
To never stoop lower than dirt
For chauvinists who discriminate against a skirt
But those fish
They knew my self worth
And through the darkness
And calamity
They swam with me
To the bright lights
Illuminated my insight
To land ho!
Rid my heart of woe
Freed my conscious of blue
Emptied the thoughts of me and you

Time Out

How does it feel when your codefendant rips your heart out and puts it in the blender?
Woo me then slay me
I thought we were on the same side behind enemy lines
Who would of known he'd betray me
Lying through common terms of endearment
Parading around the word baby
He's the type who would try to kill me
Just to try and save me
Do sneaky unforgivable things and claim he was behaving
But it was round three in the struggle and someones gotta win
And someones gonna try and save face and pretend
That we are better off as you just being a friend
Because this love battle has the propensity to accelerate to round ten

Two Face

You travel miles
Staggered walk
Slurred speech
Soaked shirt
Knock on love's door
Impatiently
Waiting for an answer
As to why
Hate penetrated your heart
Your favorite shirt, that love had purchased
Now, blood stained
By the fatal wounds hate infiltrated
You tapped on love's window pane
Because in church the pastor preached
that love supersedes hate
So you wait
For protection
For a solution
Free your mind from the dust and soot of hate's pollution
Maybe love can talk to that man in the black cloak
Who ravished your heart
Bleeding out
You hear the soft footsteps of love easing to the door to satisfy your query
Because we all know that love would be accepting
And free of judgment
He opens the door
Gazes into your eyes
And just in that moment
Your brow raised north,eyes blinked twenty times
When you realize
That it was actually
Love
Who caused you all of this pain...