Somewhere between living and dreaming maybe even believing
I see her and then I see a man with a familiar face and I often wonder what occupies his empty spaces,
What voids could I fill, if I could be an asset, and my mind works so annoyingly fast that I cant push thoughts away or look past it..
I look at her, the pretty brown woman he sports by his side
I feel so insignificant I wish I could hide
My mind gets the best of me
And drifts off from the rest of me
As I wonder how many other souls has he collided with before hers
I believe when being in love or being in the act of “love”
We often sacrifice a piece of ourselves
Interchanges between souls
Although no two people are oddly alike or similarly dissimilar
We have to alter or bend a piece of ourselves to make the other happy
Strangely enough I look at him and think, “what if?”
What if we met before my brain began to tick
What if we met some where in the middle before my first love and my last
But would I have been the same woman he once pined for, and would he have been the sensitive man behind those wooden doors of the beautifully sculpted brownstone?
Who could ever know?
Sometimes I look at the statue of the “thinker”
He looks so intent on whatever it is
But yet he’s stagnant, stone, and stuck there to interminably ponder his thoughts
My mind contains so much baggage
But from the outside I seem average
Inside I’m an analytical being who refutes marriage
I wish I could unload all these woes into a carriage
Cart them away
But I looked at him and wondered where he had been
Not how he was
But what was his history
He carried artifacts that seemed to be a mystery
The shiny pinky ring glistened I wondered if it was from a past love who gave it to him as a promise of their love.
Was he always as affectionate with others as he was with her? Or was she simply the kind of woman whose aura screamed out “be soft and love me!”
I’m not an easy woman to love
My heart is guarded by watch dogs
With a fence, in a box with chains
Surrounded by a mote, I refuse to lend any of my time or devote
In love I will never drown.
I float
I was envious of her
Green because their love seemed so enticing
I kicked myself in dismay that I might have missed a chance for the right thing
He was.
Or maybe, I’m not sure.
I pulled back when he yearned for more
But I felt my heart descend when he and her walked through the door
I’m too unsure
A woman made alone
Like purchasing a single shoe
No pair
I’m unaware
Of what hazards have put my heart in such a state of un-repair
At that moment I wish that I knew what tomorrow held today
Not being psychic but a little more intuitive
I would have held him, kissed him and I would have known
Yes I will be yours and share a piece of me with you
But I played it safe
And opted out, with gloomy thoughts and shadows of a doubt.
I cast him away, pushed him out
Until this day
And he stands there with her
With his clean goatee
He smiles a wide smile with no traces of me
Reverse the calendars go back to that day
When I said I was confused and didn’t want you to stay
Take back the curse words and empty threats
Just erase them all I hope you forget
Subtract her and start a new
And this time I will be there for you
If only I knew tomorrow today
You’d be holding my hand in that same loving way
Reverse the future and bring back the past
Before her
Before me
Before you
Become we, erase this intense jealousy
If only I could see tomorrow today
You could have been in my arms and here on this day
And maybe some poor girl who caused you dismay
Would take my place and sit here and ponder in this same disarray
If I could take it all away
Damn, if only I could have saw tomorrow today
