It pained me to see that he couldn't wrap his mind around our happiness
He was most comfortable confused, chaotic and twisted.
Like a head of hair full of nappiness
Life’s downward or upward spirals were are all mere passengers
He'd rather talk about the things I can't tell him or the dreams I can't sell him
Go out on a whim
I'm the type to fall off a ledge whether or not I can or cannot swim
He would fall off and cling frantically to the brim
Let go
Its more down there
He's more concerned about whether or not his friends will be there
Like a student without pen or paper, I came unprepared
I never factored in the time we shared
Because it was just me and him
But his mind was never there
Absent
Wish I had a compass so I could map it
We were
Lost
Hoping to never find and confront the real shit that was on our minds
We hoped that in the past we had left behind
The drama
The karma
But it was evident when his attitude was somber
That he was remembering
My vulnerability
My mistake
But I loved him extensively
Even though he had the propensity
To love me then leave me, to those hot and cold extremities
Still I felt his shoulder was meant for me
Like that spot where his neck meets his shoulder was made especially for my chin
To lay
To honor and obey
But his fears weren't at bay
I was sailing my boat
But he let down his anchor
Stifled
I wish I could murder his reservations with a rifle
Put those ills to rest like Nyquil
My team mate
And I was standing there waiting for him to come around with the baton
But that day never came
And all I could think about was
"If it weren't for what's his name"
But that was my fault
A pill I can't swallow
My heart I cannot hollow
My own act I can't follow
My destiny
Is to travel on a parallel path with my beloved
To never meet
A heat I could never seek
And thoughts I could never speak
Because Webster couldn't manufacture words
That will ease your mind
And make you mine....
So I suppose this is a battle that I will leave in the hands of father time....
